Feeling extremely trapped lately as far as school goes. I’m stuck taking classes that have no connection because I want to be interested in what I’m learning, but I can’t find a major to fit that need. My personal focus prayer has been guidance and motivation for school. I need to know where to go next and my future is VERY blurry. Praying for clear vision as to what my next steps are. Trying to keep a good head on my shoulders and think about what will be best for me in the near and far future. Ugh. School. Why?
Because Tumblr is my safe haven:
I went to a Christian school my entire life and was raised around people whom I shared the same beliefs with down to the nitty gritty. As I got older, I realized that my opinions were beginning to waver on some of the nitty gritty things and I see nothing wrong with that. Something I have to fight, is the urge to not start an irrelevant Facebook war with those people after things like the Grammys tonight. Where 33 LGBT and straight couples came together and were married in front of millions of people. Who shared their love for one another with the entire world. I bawled. It made me happy to see that love still wins, no matter what orientation you are. And that commitment and everlasting love is still a thing. But when I get on Facebook and see those whom I went to a Christian school with get on and ONLY point out ONE of the things they see as displeasing to the Lord, it just bothers me. I respect EVERYONES opinions. And I myself am not 100% sure where I stand with my beliefs on gay marriage. But why does it matter? That’s all it is, is a belief or opinion. Gay couples getting married on a nationally publicized award show should be everything less than a shock. And to see that someone would write that they’re disappointed, shocked, etc bothers me. I would most certainly see where they’re coming from if this were on like a Biblical channel or some sort or something, but it wasn’t. It was a public channel to people of all beliefs. And more than anything, it was about the music. So why does it matter?
I hate that this bothers me so much, but it just really grinds my gears EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. And really, it should be anything less than a shock FOR ME. I expect this. I just never speak out on it. And today is no different. I’m speaking out, but pretty much to myself. Because overall, I just believe you should love. Everyone. No matter what. Because we are all equal.
It’s crazy how you can admire someone SO much. That someone can mean SO much and have such an overwhelming impact on your life and your every day decisions. It’s frustrating when I realize I will never be able to express how much I appreciate the wisdom shared, simply in hopes of bettering my life. Thank you doesn’t cut it. I love you isn’t enough, no matter how many times you say it. The fact that one can love so much, yet never be able to accurately describe it is an amazingly confusing thing.